"From you?" Rob was still standing in front of me. "Nothing much. The smallest action can have the biggest impact. Just say yes if you feel you're truly ready to follow where I might lead. I'll give you a few to think about it."
He moved off, no longer in my direct line of sight. I'd been given room to come to a decision. The taps of his fingers were audible as he busied himself at the Inner Lock display.
My face itched.
I'd been suppressing a strong urge to scrub my face with my hands since this entire trial began; an old habit borne from days of being overwhelmed. With room to process, I finally had an opportunity to give into the impulse—a behavior, or so I've been told, tied to textbook psychobabble about yearning to hide from external stressors.
When everything I could see, listen to, or feel qualified as a stressor, finally having a moment without needing to worry about the next breath, look, or unexpected surprise meant a rare opportunity to mentally retreat and regroup.
Like irksome insects on a muggy morning, the hex flags continued to hover and linger in my field of view. I closed my eyelids. The flags disappeared as my sight shifted to ameboid echos, drifting within a muted red backdrop at a more sedate pace.
Three dimensions to two.
My palms, cold and clammy, felt soothing against the heat of my face as I scrubbed. The itch was relieved as the red-tinted glow of eyelid-subdued lighting gave way to starbursts and a swirling blackness as I stopped scrubbing and pushed my palms inward. I breathed out. The heat of my exhalations rushed outward like wandering wisps to find the gaps separating my fingers, face, and hands.
Concentrating, I could clearly sense the dividing line between where each ended and the other began. I was in the moment. Attentive.
The threads of my weary mind retracted as I relaxed my shoulders and back, sinking into the chair as, like roots into a splendid soil, my legs tense to hold myself aloft.
A tree. I was a tree.
My thoughts became tendrils. Branches. Waving to experience the eddies of current amid a tranquil and sunlit field. Peaceful. Unhurried. My bark a separating barrier between my core and the outside world.
Like dew on a pristine morning, a thought condensed and collected into a single pearl-like form at my crown. A rustle. A tiny shiver as it descended.
Despite my every intention to take the next step, I had a need to admit—at least to myself—of a lingering trepidation.
How do I seek guidance here?
My leaves rustled as I shivered again.
The drop fell, landing on the face of a leaf, clinging as it sought balance before trailing to a point.
What do I seek when everyone I trusted is gone?
Descending.
Another leaf, a new branch. Clinging to another point, ending in a question.
Where do I go? It was the question I'd asked myself when the death notice had arrived. My mother? Gone. Her advice centered around aims hoping for a future pay-off. I was here; aims now infeasible. She was a place, person, and concept in one. It was not what I sought. Moving on.
Another leaf. Another point. Another question.
What now? The question I'd asked when everything was unknown. I hadn't known what was going on. Where everyTHING had gone. Dora? At the time she was missing in my mind. Compromised mods were a mere drop in comparison to the gulf of self-delusion I'd surrounded myself in before I'd learned the truth. Time moves forward. What I had done wasn't quite as important as what I was going to do.
Another leaf, a new branch. Another question.
Should I ask Rob?
No. Rob was adamant I make my own decisions here, and he was right. What was it he said? "I think you’ve let others have a say on where you get to go or not go for far too long."
He was right. For better or worse, this should be my own choice. Even if I wished it were easier.
A gust of wind blew.
The drop had grown, swelling as it gathered mass, rustling from limb to limb on its way downward. The surface sparkled in the soft rays of the burning sun. Scattering and collecting simultaneously.
With a shiver, a limb bowed but didn't break. Tension was added until the droplet finally released, gaining upward momentum in an arching trajectory forward. Toward the future.
A hidden seed absorbed the dew, lapping hungrily at the chances for a new beginning. I lowered my hands from my face and opened my eyes. The flags remained disabled, and I blinked to ensure they wouldn't appear again.
I leaned back, tucking my palms beneath my armpits. My eyes traced the blurry zone of the table, where the holocard lay. I still had no clue what was causing the option for the choice nor why Rob had been so upset.
I was asking myself the wrong questions.
Everything centers around what's on that card. But why, and why me?
I turned my face, looking somewhat over my shoulder as I observed Rob, softly tapping on the screen. The font, too tiny to be read from here, was brimming with tallying metrics and gauges. I can't make a decision without knowing.
He'd detected me observing him, letting out a rumble of frustration as he swept the screen clear. It returned to the stock interface, which showed an empty walkway outside.
"Decided already?" he asked as he approached to retake his seat. His jaw was tight, not quite clenched but definitely strained. It gave him an irate expression as he sat down. Both hands were balled, forming half fists.
"Rob," I asked after he'd settled. "What's on the card?"
His face went stonily cold as his eyes flared up again. The hex flags didn't return this time, making me wonder how they'd triggered in the first place.
"Bad news," he said; he was still looking at the card. "McCreed was offering you up."
"Offering?" I asked, "You mean like a virgin at an altar? That kind of offering?"
His jaw clenched as he continued glaring at the card. The half-fists became full. "And he was going to make you walk there so he wouldn't have to deliver you."
I still couldn't wrap my mind around what possible qualifier would've made me his sacrifice, but Rob answered before I had to ask, "It's horrible luck," he said, his tone brooding. "Worse? You weren't the only one. There are some major issues we'll need to investigate once we get you to a safe house if you decide to come."
Safe house? What is this...a spy holo-drama?
"Safe house? horrible luck? Wait a second..." I began, but Rob's arms were catching my attention first. They were swelling. Growing in size.
Rob spoke coldly, ignorant of or uncaring of the fact it looked like there was an allergic reaction going on with his forearms. "From what you've told me so far, Price? Karl's death was the trigger to just about everything leading up to this morning. I'm still unclear on how..." and he spat her name, a look of hate crossing his features as the vein erupted again upon his forehead, "Dora, fits into all this, but trust me—" Rob's eyes flashed dangerously, "we'll find out and make them pay!"
"Pay?!" I asked, surprised at his emergent anger. Since he'd first seen the card, it seemed like he was just on the verge of being beyond upset. I still didn't know what was exactly on the card. I hope it's not something I did.
"Yes!" he shouted, probably louder than he meant to as his left arm tightened. I had to involuntarily lean away.
FAR away.
The clothing he was wearing had been loose and somewhat flowing, but hidden musculature beneath his skin had pumped outward in volume.
In a blink of my cybernetic eyes, warning flags projected around his frame, a counter displaying exponential growth. It ticked upward as more than just his arm began to swell and inflate. It was something I'd never seen before, at least not in person. Analog-age comics I'd read as a child had a character with green skin and something about radiation exposure. I was abruptly reminded of it before a single blinking notice in hazard orange splashed across my field of vision.
[WARNING] [APM: Class Fifteen] IDENTIFIED! [Effects: High Strength, Tissue Constriction, Mass Expansion, Durability Enhancement] [STATUS: UNLICENSED] [WARNING]
I goggled at the notice, the first of its kind I'd ever seen without a connected Outerall Processing Unit. It was identical to the one informing me of the nitrogen imbalance in the feed tunnels, and I hadn't even known it was possible to see them without a LiNC-up.
Equally alarming was the overlay informing me of a mod type I'd never heard of; proof It wasn't just some freakish allergic reaction but a cybernetic enhancement.
I felt like I was observing a puffer fish ready to ward off threats, the key difference being this puffer fish—instead of looking ball-like and comical—could've crushed skulls between his fingers or crumbled load-bearing girders into pixie dust with his bare hands.
Once just a man, he had become a Titan or Goliath in miniature.
Nearly double his original volume—if the gauges and their ratios were any indicator—Rob had grown in size and impression. While he wasn't a particularly large person normally, the increased sizing made him look...dense. Immovable. The table dented under his left elbow as his seat creaked out a strained warning.
A thought blistered its way through my brain, down logical pathways and between electrodes to hit the communication centers of my frontal lobe. My mouth, a bullhorn stuck on broadcast, yelled out, "WHAT THE HELL IS AN APM MOD?!"
I have no clue why, of all the zinging questions I had in my skull, it was the first to be vocalized, but there it was. It seemed to do the job of snapping Rob out of it.
He looked down at himself, blinking several times before giving me a frown. Just as quickly as he had swollen, he...deflated? That's about the only word I could've called it. His body shrank like a time-lapse photo of the expansion in reverse. The vein in his forehead even managed to shrink as he closed his eyes and breathed calmly. The same exercise I did when I needed some time to still my nerves, but this one seemed to work for him in an almost mystical way.
I was a little jealous. The key word being "little" compared to the powerfully built form he'd accidentally turned into.
"Sorry," he said, after returning to normal size, his eyes still closed. "Amplified Physique Mods. You can't tell anyone. Got it?" He said, opening one of his eyes to peek out at me, it was brown again. "That...was an accident. I let myself lose control when I shouldn't have."
I mimed locking my lips with a keycode strip and wiping my memory with a flasher as I stared at him wide-eyed. "So...how long—" I asked before he cut me off.
"Too young," he said, eyes closed again as he breathed in and out, "and that's why I want you to have one. A choice. This is the future I was put into. Yours can be a future you choose."